Renaud's Laisse béton
if it were by a corporate
He's called our VP of Growth. The song will be sung by his manager and his mentor.
When he was just a junior they called him Low-Scope.
He'd ping me on the channels: "Synergy! Sync up!"
When he'd get to the office he'd say that he lived in the back of the Slack threads all day.
One time we wanted him to join a brainstorm with so much groupthink we had to crowdsource the bandwidth out in the chat and he wanted to exit.
He put himself on a roadmap for his first standup rally.
He collects all the frameworks and buzzwords but too much dust on the playbook to care.
He took forever to pivot the metrics of our product launch. It's not like he was an analyst.
He made me leverage a Discord bot and circle back on the simulator rally.
His slicked-back mullet and tight blazer combo.
He loves to play corporate tarot.
He's studying data in his MBA. He adores the dashboards.
For his studies he lives with his cousin in the startup co-working.
When he was our little best man at our wedding, our traditional deck-stacking for quarterly synergies on the weekend Slack thread. His years of buzzword kingdom.. he adores the pivot rally
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